Loss of sleep

For one thing, if something is bothering you, and you decide to sleep on it, and hope maybe it will just go away, you are sadly mistaken.  It may not be in the front of your mind, but it's going to be in the back of your mind.  It's going to keep you from sleeping properly, or maybe even at all.  There's no doubt you have things to do in the morning, which is why you chose not to bring it up at such a late hour.  But, the lack of sleep, or poor quality sleep, that occurs the night before is going to hurt you more than staying up a little later to get the issue resolved.

The Festering Sore

If you choose not to bring something up when it first begins to bother you, it will simmer and fester, just like a sore that you choose not to clean and treat properly.  Like I said, it may not be in the front of your mind, in your every thought, but trust me, it's in the back of your mind, and is affecting your subconcious thoughts, and is also affecting your actions, whether you realize it or not.  You're likely to find yourself biting your partner's head off for things that normally aren't that big a deal, when it's really something else that's really bothering you.  And, when you finally do get the nerve to bring up what's bothering you, it is likely to start out as an argument right from the start, and no progress is going to be made in solving the problem.

Dedication and Commitment

By deciding to stay up a little later to solve a problem, and talk it out, shows a level of dedication and commitment by both parties in the relationship, not only the solving the problem, but also to keeping the communication lines open.  It is very important that both parties in the relationship show dedication to making the relationship work, and to keeping the communication lines open at all times.

So, if there's something bothering you, talk to you partner, now, not later. If you have to stay up all night to get it resolved, then that's what you have to do.  If one or both of you decides that it's just better to stop in the middle of the conversation, and go on to bed, one or both of you is going to sleep poorly, have lingering feelings that will turn into ugly resentment and possibly even hatred, and it shows that one or the other of you is not as committed to keeping the lines of communication open as they should be.

This article is an excerpt from the book Missing Pieces: 21 Secrets of a Successful Relationship by Will Irvin, now available from Lulu.com in paperback, hardcover, and for download.